A Sunday brunch celebration? Bring on the bloodies! A tea party that turns into a surprise ceremony? How darling! A food truck that pulls up next to the reception tent? Heck yes! When it comes to weddings, it’s a pretty great time in history to have one—because you can really do whatever you want.
So, why bother with any of the lame, tired, or just-plain-weird food ideas on your big day? We don’t mean to be haters, but as experts in the field of food, we are exercising our rights to speak now and not forever hold our peace. See which ones you agree with below—and then also discover the 30 Ways to Stay Slim When You’re Married!
Eating Your Old Wedding Cake on Your Anniversary
Decades ago, a tradition started in which couples saved the top tier of their wedding cake, popped it in their freezer, and sliced into on their first-year anniversary. And while we’ve heard some miraculous stories—like the elderly couple who still has a bit of their wedding fruitcake 60 years later—we otherwise gotta deem this practice a Not That! Nowadays, many bakeries that get booked for weddings will actually gift the couple an anniversary slice or cupcake. Plus, from what we could tell online, many people say they take one bite and then throw it out. Save your freezer space for more useful stuff—like these time-saving 20 Make-Ahead Meals to Keep in Your Freezer!
Wall-to-Wall Cocktail Hour Spreads
Have you ever been to a wedding where you assumed the overzealous and generous options of food at the cocktail hour must be what you’re having for dinner? And then, an hour or so later, you sit down to have a three-course meal, maybe more? With the way some wedding venues package their options—bronze, silver, gold, platinum, diamond, whatever—these elaborate cocktail hours aren’t that uncommon in some places. Although many the venues say they will donate extra food to local shelters, food waste is too big of an issue in America to not find these pre-dinner dinners a bit obnoxious. It’s also encouraging your guests to overeat, which means they’re more likely to fall into a food coma and burn out just when the bride and groom would hope for a rockin’ dance floor. Speaking of, don’t miss these 17 Reasons You Overeat (And How to Stop!)
Cool in 2001; so over by 2011. Even if you’re being ironic and imprinting your face on M&Ms, you’re still coming up a little short on the cleverness scale. That said, M&M’s have played a role in countless studies that have helped scientists better understand human behavior, eating habits, and the choices we make. Discover some of these findings with our 9 Diet Tricks We Learned from M&Ms.
“Heavy Hors D’oeuvres” That Are Actually M.I.A.
Weddings are capital E expensive, and everyone has a right to customize their wedding how they’d like. So, if you want to serve “heavy hors d’oeuvres” as dinner, that’s okay—but please make sure you plan for plenty of trays to go around and for an extended amount of time. This choice of dinner is often chosen for stand-up receptions and considered as a way to encourage people to mix, mingle, and get on the dance floor. But if the food is nowhere to be found (or run out within an hour) and the “heavy” apps were mostly so the bride and groom can technically say they served food, then don’t be surprised if people skip the after-party in favor of the nearest diner. Or worse, duck out before the reception is over. And speaking of finger foods, test your pigs-in-a-blanket I.Q. with this Quiz: Worst Party Apps to Eat!
Candy-Coated Almonds for Favors
Jordan almonds actually have a sweet little poem behind them—and we’ll admit that we remember getting these as kids and being particularly excited to nosh on them. But many couples opt for these because they can get them in bulk for cheap—and that’s where our gripes begin. First of all, if you’re going to bathe your healthy nuts in unhealthy sugar, make it gourmet. Second, if dollars are your priority—not tradition—then there are far better ideas for favors. We like the idea of loose-leaf tea packets, which are super affordable while still being metabolism-friendly. Green tea melts fat, after all!