This Is What Your Barista Really Thinks Of You
By April Benshosan
They may hand you your triple venti skim latte with a smile, but we’ve uncovered what's really behind your barista’s happy facade.
Walking into your local coffee shop or Starbucks joint usually doesn’t involve more than a gander at the overhead menu, a quick greeting to the cashier followed by your order, and a hopefully short wait before you grab your drink and jut out. That’s usually the customer’s experience. On the other hand, the guy or gal brewing your coffee has a totally different outlook on your caffeinated order.
Surviving their fair share of incoherent accents, wacky orders, mindblowing modifications, and just plain ol’ rude customers, your barista has probably been through it all. And, thanks to Reddit, they’re here to share their thoughts with the rest of us. If you’re curious as to which gears are turning under your barista’s logo cap while they’re whipping up your java, check out our confession compilation below. And while you’re reconsidering ordering that super complex coffee with an extra caramel drizzle, consider trying these 20 Easy Ways To Stay Slim At Any Coffee Shop instead.
Stop Pronouncing 'Espresso' Wrong
If you're sipping on an espresso, you should be enough of a coffee connoisseur to pronounce the name of the drink correctly. “It's ESPRESSO. Not EXPRESSO!” Reddit user kierstenhollywood expressed.
Don’t Expect hot coffee if you do this
“A customer waved me down this weekend, like frantically waving her arms like she was drowning. I go to the table and she says ‘this coffee is TEPID.’ Yeah....because you dumped ice cold cream into it. I will bring you a fresh cup along with a book that outlines the laws of physics,” said Reddit user cfinboston.
Don’t even try the old cup refill trick
When asked if baristas judge customers based on their orders, Reddit user MaidenLocks replied: “Only when the customer is blatantly trying to rip off the store. [...] bringing in a week-old dirty cup they scraped off the floor of their car and asking for a refill.” So no, refills aren’t a God-given right.
Don’t add this to your tea
It’s likely that your toppings are facing a few seconds of scrutinization, too. Reddit user alloftheworld replied: “Though the other day a woman demanded I put whipped cream on her iced green tea and I was... taken aback, let’s say.”
Your Greetings Matter
“I judge customers based on our interactions, not what you order. If I greet you with a warm ‘Hey, how are you?’ and you respond by ignoring me or you just stare and demand coffee then you're getting decaf. I go out of my way to be pleasant and engaging, especially when I don't feel like it—the very least you can do is acknowledge me,” Reddit user Nothing_Gazes_Back said.
Don’t order this for your kids
“I judge when people get their kids venti frappuccinos. Thats a ton of sugar/ coffee for a kid,” exclaimed Reddit user capt_tex.
“I only judge when you add a ton of modifiers or really strange combinations. for example when someone buys a non-fat sugar free vanilla latte, but also a cheesecake,” Reddit user FixingCarcass reminisced.
When people don’t understand how raw Sugar works
“I judged a person who ordered a sweetened black tea lemonade and then dumped 3-4 raw sugars in it. Those never dissolve in cold drinks- you just get sugar surprise in your straw,” Reddit user Defnotabarista admitted.
You get a nickname
When asked if baristas judge customers based on their coffees of choice, Abrootalname took to Reddit, “No so much judge you by your drink, but we refer to you as ‘Tall Americano’ as if it were your name. So when ‘Grande Non-Fat 2/3 Decaf 182 Degree Extra Extra Dry Cappuccino in a Venti Cup’ lady walks in... yes we judge her based on her order.”
Know Your Secret Menu Order
Given all the crazy mashup orders rumored to be found on Starbucks’ secret menu, we’re not surprised when baristas judge a customer for being unaware of the ingredients in those wacky drinks. “People who order Secret Menu drinks like I know what they are. "Can I have a oatmeal frappuchino?" — ‘Do you know what's in it?’ — ‘No...’” a Reddit user said.
Rush Hour Woes
And yes, if you walk into a coffee shop during rush hour, you will be judged. And you have been warned. One barista-turned-Reddit-user judges “people who modify crazy drinks in the middle of a rush. ‘Can I have a grande inna venti flat white? Extra shot, coconut milk, no foam, extra hot, with 3 splenda and 1 raw sugar. And whip cream.’ — ‘Sure…’”
They Know your level of coffee expertise
“In my mind I've stereotyped plenty of different people to what drinks they get. The ones that actually upset me are the silly, pointless, dumb drinks people get. We get one lady who orders a venti blonde pour overs (regardless of time of day) and asks for 2 inches of steamed cream and 8 raw sugars. Just, no. You don't like coffee. Stop pretending you like coffee. I've tested it and she can't tell Veranda from Pike,” Reddit user rickarooo bluntly stated.
“When a pretty cute customer comes but then orders a caramel frappuccino (or any other basic drink...PSL season is here) it’s kind of disappointing haha,” Reddit user DivineKaze said.
MORE FROM EAT THIS, NOT THAT!
Lose Up to 14 Pounds in One Week Eating Breakfast!
The new book Zero Belly Breakfasts will have you looking and feeling great in no time flat, thanks to hundreds of delicious and nutritious breakfast secrets—and more than 100 mouthwatering recipes you can prepare in minutes! Buy Zero Belly Breakfasts today!