By Melissa Milne, author, The Naughty Diet
I bet you are, too.
Like you, I’ve spent my entire life being told how to look, what to eat and when to exercise by the Three M’s: men, the media, and—that harshest critic of all—myself. And for most of my life, I listened to them, because—well, like you, I wanted to look hot. Smoking hot. Angelina hot! Or at least to feel hot. Especially in that dress.
And so we diet. And cheat. And diet again. And quit. And finally, we cry, usually in front of an all-day Housewives marathon. What keeps us on this treadmill, going back for more? It’s guilt, capital G—the self-hating, cuticle-picking, old-pajama-wearing, Häagan-Dazs-at-one-a.m. binging Guilt. Guilt makes us want to be good.
And that’s exactly why you should be Naughty.
My new book The Naughty Diet says screw guilt and pass the wine. It’s the anti-diet diet, breaking the traditional rules of dieting—and all their man-made, media-hyped, me-focused hypocritical restrictions—son you can be free to lose weight without losing yourself. And you will begin to lose weight—a psychic weight off your shoulders, and extra flab from everywhere that matters. And you won’t be doing it alone.
Thousands of women like you have already declared themselves Naughty, freed from guilt (you can find them right here on Facebook). There’s a reason this has resonated with so many: The Naughty Diet bloody works, like a Bloody Mary on a hangover.
“By reading the book, I learned how to control my food supply, and my emotional eating, very quickly and easily,” says Janelle Dutchess, 39, from Buffalo, NY. “And I lost 10 pounds in 10 days!”
How is it possible? To have your Red Velvet and eat it too?
Because The Naughty Diet will—and this is where the heavens part, the trumpets blare and you will thank God we ever met—change your entire approach to food. You’ll learn how to stop obsessing about calories, master your cravings, revamp your approach to exercise, and banish negative thoughts after eating. By the end, you’ll never feel anxious about “dieting,” which will free you up for what’s important: living, with a healthy, sexy body; a blissful mind; and room for the indulgences you crave. Like, you know, sex.
Start with these simple day-by-day changes to your daily routine, and check out The Naughty Diet now to start losing weight while eating the foods you love!
The Old Rule: Eat Less, Lose Weight.
The Naughty Way: Hell Hath No Fury Like My Body Starved.
I’m not a violent woman, but if I could take one sentence, and throw it at a brick wall so that nobody would ever be able to put it back together again, it would be this one: You have to starve yourself to lose weight.
Ladies, as studies in The Naughty Diet prove: The. Opposite. Is. True.
When you starve yourself, you starve yourself of the energy you need to live, you starve yourself of the nutrients your body needs to work, you starve yourself of the opportunity to get the body you want. You need to eat. You need to feel satisfied. That’s what helps you avoid the late-night pantry raids. That’s what keeps your metabolism moving. That’s what works.
Now, I’m not saying that you gorge yourself on Golden Grahams to the point where you feel sick. But what I am saying is that if you’re hungry at 2, have that banana and some nuts. If you’re hungry for lunch, but it’s only 10:30 in the morning, that’s OK. Have that colorful vegetable and chicken salad sprinkled with edamame and let it keep you satisfied until the afternoon. If your body is feeling like a steak tonight, then have a steak tonight.
“You’ll drop pounds,” promises Keri Glassman, MS, RD, CDN, “and the emotional baggage that comes with them!”
The Old Rule: Eat Diet Food to Lose Weight.
The Naughty Way: Stay Away from Any Processed Foods That Claim to Be “diet Foods.” Eat the Real Damn Thing.
“Diet” food is a big, fat con—I call it Skinny Cow manure. Firstly, it never tastes anything like the real thing and you usually end up eating much more of it because it’s “lighter” yet never fully satisfies you. Eating a prepackaged, microwaveable “diet” lasagna is the equivalent of flying to Italy to have lunch at the airport McDonald’s. You miss the whole gastronomic experience and never feel like your taste-buds ever take off—or land.
That’s why I’d rather whip up the real thing, with real ingredients in my own sexy kitchen. The Naughty Diet has a complete list of Naughty Foods, with more than 30 recipes. “True confession: I ripped out that section and use it as a shopping list every weekend,” wrote one Naughty fan to me on Facebook. “I ended up losing 5 pounds a week—and 4 inches from my waist. Best part’s the section on dessert!” Speaking of dessert…
The Old Rule: Ditch Dessert if You Want to Lose Weight.
The Naughty Way: Make Dessert Work for You.
Dessert is usually the first “splurge” to be banished on a diet, along with wine, cheese, bread, and any treats that make la dolce vita. But occasionally indulging in something sweet not only makes life sweeter, it can actually help you drop pounds too, as you'll discover in The Naughty Diet. The secret is to make dessert work for you and not against you. The poison is in the dosage. A scoop of gelato on a summer’s day is good. Eating a whole tub of frozen-sugar-fat alone in bed? Yuck!
Always opt for quality over quantity—go for your favorite and highest quality indulgence, even if it happens to be the richest and sweetest. Dessert is not the time to try to cut calories. Go on and pull out the fine-bone china and plate your chocolate before sitting down to a luxurious sweet moment. I freely admit to having a little chocolate orgasm almost every day. Wine too.
World renowned chef Thomas Keller believes in the law of diminishing returns: “The more you have of something, the less you like it,” he has said. “We establish our compositions based on the view that when you are finished with a dish, you wished you had one more bite. That way you have reached the highest flavor for that dish and it becomes memorable.”
Total deprivation is for monks.
The Old Rule: It’s Healthy to Be 100-percent Healthy.
The Naughty Way: It’s Unhealthy to Be Obsessively Healthy.
I went to Nutrition School and recall feeling drawn to the students who were not afraid (nor repulsed!) by carbs, wine, sugar, caffeine, dairy or—shock, horror—cooked food. In some of the others, I sniffed a bit of orthorexia—an eating disorder characterized by a severe fixation with avoiding foods perceived to be unhealthful and “impure.” While I assured the fruitarian—someone who only eats fruit—that the berries were organically grown in Upstate New York, and convinced the raw vegans that the kale chips were slowly baked below 116 degrees Fahrenheit, I wondered why anyone would choose to follow such a radically refined diet. How unsociable! How annoying! How limiting and maddening! How rude to be raw!
The Naughty Diet will teach you to think of your body like a temple, but not the Vatican City. Kale can’t absolve you of your sins.
The Old Rules: Eat for Fuel.
The Naughty Way: Eat for Pleasure Too.
Guess what? We were built to derive pleassssure—not just sustenance—from food! That’s why we possess an intricate sequence of stimuli that invokes a multitude of mouthwatering flavors from food. Your job, as a reformed dieter, is easy: Always seek to derive maximum pleasure from every food particle that passes your sweet lips. You wouldn’t complain, fear or feel guilty about having totally pleasurable sex or an amazing vacation, right? So why settle for anything less than guilt-free, orgasmic food experiences? We just need to deactivate the guilt, check our portion sizes and activate the multisensory pleasures of eating.
Now, I hear you saying; “I love food too much, that’s why I’m overweight! That’s why I’m always on a diet!” Fact is, numerous studies have shown that women who derive less pleasure from eating may eat more to compensate, putting them at higher risk for weight gain and obesity. See, eating for pleasure is the only way to feel truly satisfied. When you eat on The Naughty Diet, pleasure is the reward not quantity.
We are made to eat to live and live to eat, too!
LOSE UP TO 10 POUNDS IN 10 DAYS with The Naughty Diet, the 10-Step Plan to Eating and Cheating Your Way to the Body You Want. Click Here to Discover How it Can Work for You!