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10 Bizarre Fast-Food Items That Were Discontinued

Fried chicken used as a sandwich bun? Pass!

All that glitters is not gold, and nowhere is that Shakespearean insight more evident than when you open the archives of fast food menus over the past few decades. These 10 discontinued fast-food menu items didn't last the test of time, and when you take a look at them in all their culinary hybrid, oversized, oddly named glory, you're bound to see why.

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1

Hot Dog Stuffed Crust Pizza

hot dog stuffed pizza
Courtesy of Pizza Hut

We have Pizza Hut to thank for the rise of stuffed crust pizza, but this development is proof that not all good ideas need to be improved upon. Canada, Australia, the U.K., and South Korea all had this mash-up pizza before we got a stateside rendition that contained 28 mini hot dogs baked into the crust. However, the item was quietly discontinued soon after its launch in 2015. Check out some other crimes against pizza on our Unhealthiest Pizzas in America list.

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2

Mac n' Cheetos

Mac and Cheetos
Courtesy of Burger King

This is what results when you take mac and cheese, form it into a log, and coat it with stop-light-colored Cheetos dust. The idea may be nice, but it defeats the purpose of fast food because it can't truly be eaten on the go, as you need to be in the vicinity of a sink at all times to clean up your hands to do anything else. So while these were originally available at Burger King in 2016, you can now find a boxed version at some stores.

3

Buffalo Latte

buffalo latte
Courtesy of Tim Hortons

"I'd like this latte to taste a bit like chicken wings," said no one ever. While lattes made with beetroot or mushroom adaptogens are still riding the crest of their trend wave, this savory latte from Tim Horton's was understandably short-lived. In addition to the normal players like espresso and steamed milk, this creation also included Buffalo sauce flavor and a final sprinkling of Buffalo seasoning.

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4

Onion Nuggets

mcdonalds onion nuggets
@WeRJustGrubbin/Twitter

This McDonald's fast-food fail might tie onion rings for the title of worst food to eat on a first date. Onion nuggets were exactly what they sounded like and were around briefly in the 1970s but never took off. Their only redeeming quality is that they looked exactly like chicken nuggets, but if that's the aesthetic you're going for, just order chicken nuggets.

5

Whopperito

whopperito
Courtesy of Burger King

Consider this short-lived Burger King offering one reason why fast-food joints should stay in their lanes. By swapping the hamburger bun for a flour tortilla and ketchup for neon queso, it was one part burger, one part burrito, and 100% unnecessary. Reviews called it "as disgusting as it looks" and bluntly avowed that, with this release, Burger King had "no regard for basic decency."

6

Pizzabon

pizzabon
Courtesy of Cinnabon

Rule of thumb: If the name doesn't flow, it's not going to last. Exhibit A is this unfortunate 2012 hybrid from Cinnabon, the company that quickly learned it should stick to beloved sweet staples and leave savory to the pizza pros. Luckily, their original cinnamon buns are so good that the public was willing to forgive them. Check out these 13 Foods That Were All the Rage in the '90s.

7

McLean Deluxe

mclean deluxe
Youtube

Sure, it may just look like a normal burger on the surface. But that's exactly why this new "healthy" option was such a disappointment. McDonald's is one place that didn't need to get in on the low-fat trend of the '90s, and customers preferred tried-and-true Big Macs to this 91% fat-free burger made with beef and seaweed extract.

8

Priazzo

priazzo
Priazzo, David M. Rubenstein Rare Book & Manuscript Library, Duke University

This confusing name was Pizza Hut's fancy way of saying Chicago style–inspired pizza. It apparently took quite a long time to cook (probably because it's at least six times taller than an average pie) which goes against the concept of "fast food." Plus, with multiple layers of crust and fillings, it was more pizza lasagna than deep-dish pie and seemed destined to leave you with a stomach ache.

9

Fritos Chicken Enchilada Melt

chicken enchilada
Courtesy of Taco Bell

The name itself doesn't raise any red flags—until you add in the context that this was an offering at Subway, not Taco Bell. While it seems like every fast food place tries a chip-based menu item to earn their stripes, the combination of pulled chicken, melted cheddar, and Frito bits just didn't quite fit in with the "eat fresh" ethos.

10

Double Down

KFC Double Down
Courtesy of KFC

KFC's gut bomb of a chicken sandwich may have a loud and loyal following, but for the sake of everyone's arterial linings, we're glad that this all-fried-chicken, no-bun menu item is no longer listed. Word on the street is that you can still hack your way to a secret menu version of the sandwich if you truly can't resist the pull. Check out these 7 New Things You'll See at KFC When It Reopens.

Abby Reisner
Abby is a food writer, editor, cook, and digital strategist living in Brooklyn. Read more